Author: Susan Carey

Finding Value in the Wilderness

Susan Carey

I am a podcast junkie. If you open the podcast app on my phone at any given time, you’ll typically find 5-10 podcasts in the queue ranging from current events to politics to self-care to church sermons. I’ve learned so much from the hours spent with various voices while on the road or in the kitchen or on the treadmill, and today was especially eye-opening. Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon began releasing a daily teaching at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic and while I’ve only come across them recently, they have been a grounding piece of my daily spiritual disciplines.

Today’s podcast is titled “The Wilderness” and features Bethany Allen, Bridgetown’s Pastor of Spiritual Formation and Leadership Development. In it she explores Matthew 4:1-11 when Jesus is led by the Spirit into the wilderness in preparation for his earthly ministry. Verses 2-4 say, “After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, ‘If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread. Jesus answered, ‘It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” In the remainder of the well-known story, Satan continues to tempt Jesus and Jesus continues to refuse temptation by relying on God’s word. In this battle of good versus evil, good wins.

Allen points out that we often read this scripture with a sympathetic view of Jesus. We assume that he’s at his most vulnerable and weak point and we can only imagine that he’s able to withstand the enemy because he is in fact God. But Allen argues that perhaps our perspective is inaccurate. What if we recognize that Jesus’ time of isolation and fasting in the wilderness actually developed in him the spiritual fortitude that is available to all of us when we are in step with God? 

Allen asks the question, “What if we saw the wilderness as a place of fortification instead of desolation?” I don’t know about you, but I’ve been prone to decry the wilderness seasons of my life because they were so painful. Allen says “we have viewed the wilderness as a rite of passage, the place where we suffer or white-knuckle it, even endure the absence of God’s presence.” But what if that’s not what it’s about at all? In retrospect I see how my wilderness seasons are often the times I feel closest to God. Those are the times, the times when I am most dependent on God, that I grow most profoundly in relationship with him. In my times of thinking God was absent, he most clearly assured me of his presence. And if that’s the case, should we be so quick to run away from those seasons?

Matthew 4:1-11 is a significant text for the Lenten season, the 40 days beginning on Ash Wednesday and ending on Easter Sunday when we remember Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Lent is an opportunity for us to willingly enter the wilderness with Jesus. In the past, I’ve viewed the sacrifice made in Lent as a means of suffering and I engaged willingly because I wanted to experience – albeit on a very minute level – the suffering of Jesus. It felt like the “good Christian” thing to do. And at the end of the 40 days I was grateful to end the fast, often with no permanent change in my habits or my spiritual life. But Bethany Allen’s teaching has given me a new perspective, one of hopeful expectation that when I enter into the wilderness of Lent, I can expect that God WILL show up and in that, I have an opportunity to experience his strength and power in new and profound ways. And you better believe I’ll be watching for it and documenting it.

I don’t know what your experience has been like with Lent in the past, but I invite you to observe it this year. I invite you to examine how you spend your time and energy, both mental and physical. I invite you to let go of a barrier that prevents you from daily encounters with God and to watch with hopeful expectation for the ways he will meet you in your fasting. If you want to extend this to your family as well, I invite you to check out the ‘Observing Lent with Children’ page on our Hillside UMC website. How often do we help our children experience God beyond participating in Sunday worship? Maybe the season of Lent will be the start of a new daily rhythm for your family.

Observing Lent with Children

Can you imagine how God will move when your family as a whole makes room in the daily rhythm to meet with him? I hope you’ll watch for it, document it, and share it. And if you want to check out Bethany Allen’s teaching, simply click the ‘play’ button below and enjoy.

Bridgetown Daily: The Wilderness

Words Matter

Susan Carey

It’s a difficult time to talk about current events with our kids. Would you agree? Depending on their age, we don’t want to frighten them. We don’t want to mislead them. We’re not really sure how we even feel about what’s going on in our country, and we surely don’t want them going to school and repeating everything we’ve said at home. So in truth, we just don’t talk about it. We leave the news turned off, we answer their questions with limited responses, and we hope each day will be better than the one before it. At least that’s how it is in my home.

But what if we’re missing opportunities for valuable conversations about the kingdom of God? What if we’re missing opportunities to influence our children’s faith development as a result of what they witness in current events? As a mom, I don’t want to miss those opportunities. As a citizen of the United States, I don’t want to miss the opportunity to help my children grow up to be informed voters. As a Jesus-follower, I don’t want to miss the opportunity to help my children live their faith and potentially influence this country for the better.

The truth is that we cannot bury our heads in the sand. Our kids are aware of the tensions in our country. If they are in school, I guarantee they are hearing about it, often in adult words spoken from the mouths of children who overheard their own parents. Our responsibility as parents is to help our kids navigate the world and our responsibility as Christ-followers is to help them do so in a way that brings the kingdom of Heaven here on earth. And that kingdom will look much different than what we currently see on the news and experience in our own lives.

So I’m committed to do better and the commitment I make has nothing to do with my political leanings but rather everything to do with what I read in scripture about the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.  In the Carey house, with girls who are 12 and 16, we’re framing conversations around Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7, and with special emphasis on the beatitudes as our lens for looking at current events and how we should respond. What does Jesus say about how we should interact with others? What does Jesus say about the power of our words? What does Jesus say about the oppressed? What does Jesus say about material possessions? About judgement? About truth? And how do we see those teachings play out in current events today?

 Another great scriptural guide is Micah 6:8, “And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Imagine the fruit of conversation when we define what this means for ourselves and for our family.  My prayer is that these conversations will help our girls recognize the heart of God, identify those situations that break his heart, and in turn be young women who speak and act the truth in love for the kingdom of Heaven.

Truthfully, we didn’t have these kinds of conversations when my girls were younger. It was a different time and I was in a much different place spiritually. But young children need just as much reassurance and context to understand their world. Last week I listened to a great podcast from NPR’s Life Kit called “What to Say to Kids When the News is Scary” and I cannot recommend it strongly enough for guidance especially with younger children.  You can access both the podcast and a brief article here.

Parenting is no joke, and parenting with the goal of discipling our kids to follow Jesus is even more difficult. Be encouraged. We are the men and women for the job. With the help of scripture, the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and one another as support, we can bring up a generation of peacemakers and world changers….but it starts today.

God, give us the wisdom and the words to lead our children well. Point us to the scritpure, to the life and words of your son Jesus Christ who modeled for us what it means to live in deep relationship with you, to live a servant’s life, to love our neighbor as our selves. God show us how to parent in a way that demonstrates your love for our children and for all children. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Giving the Gift of Language

Susan Carey

This past Sunday, Pastor Paul asked the question “What does it look like to chase after God?” In sharing the story of the magi who traveled thousands of miles to experience the presence of God in the Christ-child, Pastor Paul pointed out seven actions of the magi that we can follow as we seek to chase God in 2021:

  • observe God’s movement
  • enter into the presence of God
  • bow
  • kneel 
  • worship first and at all cost
  • offer yourself
  • obey God’s guidance

As I often do, I walked away from this message considering what it looks like not only to chase after God myself, but also to teach my girls to do the same. We are intentional about raising our girls in a faith-centered home, but it’s challenging and we’re not perfect. I’ve yet to find exactly the right book or podcast or speaker to give me the perfect road map or better yet the perfect words to help my girls, in their very limited experience and thankfully limited heartache, fully understand the magnitude of God’s goodness, mercy and grace. So I fumble my way along. Can you relate?

I want to teach my kids first to observe God’s movement. You might think that since they’ve been raised and active in the church, such observations would be natural for them. But I can tell with full disclosure that is simply not so. We used to ask the question at dinner “How did you see God today?” and we were answered with silence nearly every single time. We did an advent study in 2020 with great scripture readings and devotionals. The girls loved them, but when it came time to apply the reading…silence. And in frustration, I’m tempted to stop asking the questions. Where is the disconnect?

I think the answer is simple: language. It’s no mystery how children acquire language. They speak what they hear. From the time a child is born, parents are intentional to name every action and object to help that child communicate. We look at picture books and imitate animal noises. And we know that children are absolute sponges…to the point that we have to be careful about what we say because it will ultimately be repeated. We know this is true of language acquisition, but do we apply it to faith as well? Do our kids have that language of faith? Have we, as parents, given them the words?

You see, if I want my girls to be able to express how they see God move, I have to give them the words and the only way to do that is to express how I see God move. And it has to be as casual and as frequent as the way I would name objects when they were babies. Talking about God is not reserved for the dinner table or family devotion time. Talking about God is in the car on the way to school, in the line at the grocery store, watching the basketball game from the bleachers.

I’m ready to chase God in 2021 with more devotion than ever before. I want my girls to see it, to hear me talk about it, and to join me in the chase. Will you come along? What if this is the year that we spoke our observations of God out loud, even when it sounds awkward? What if this is the year that our kids learn the language of faith? What if this is the year that we build relationship, not religion, and we invite God into every moment, not just Sunday worship. 

Leave a note in the comments if you’re ready to join me and let’s see what stories we can share of God’s movement in our homes in 2021.

Christmastide

Susan Carey

Have you seen the posts and memes like the one above that begin with “I was today years old when I learned that…”? My first exposure to such a post was a video of a man using a vegetable peeler on a carrot, amazed that he could peel both top to bottom and bottom to top. I was shocked! I’d been peeling carrots my whole life and never had I peeled from top to bottom…it was an epiphany!

Admittedly, I had the same reaction when I learned only very recently that the 12 days of Christmas do not reflect the frenzy leading up to December 25th, but actually begin with Christmas Day and continue through January 6th, also known as Epiphany. This is the day we celebrate the magi visiting the Christ Child and signifying his first introduction to gentiles. So essentially my entire life has been a month long build up to Christmas Day, in recent years tamed by the observation of Advent, followed by the quick post-Christmas Day let down. And my kids have done the exact same thing.

It’s no one’s fault. Christmastide was never discussed in my home nor my early experiences of church.  But now I know better. And if there’s ever been a year to do things differently, it’s this one. The celebration of Christmastide was first set apart by the Roman Catholic Church in 567 and while the season has evolved with time and by denomination, the premise is the same: to rejoice in the Incarnation and share the news of the light of God coming into the world. Traditionally, Christmastide is a time of feasting and carols and light, a response to the waiting and solemnity of our Advent hopes being answered. 

So what if we gave it a try?  What if we spent the next few days with Christmas carols playing in the background, Christmas lights twinkling from the tree, candlelight glowing on the table, and continued intentional time in the Word of God. What if we chose to keep the heart of Mary who didn’t rush to leave the manger but instead treasured up this time with Jesus and meditated on all he came to do and be in this world? 

What if instead of rushing to take down the decorations, return and exchange the gifts, and spend the Christmas cash, we instead feast around the table, snuggle up with our kids for one more Christmas movie or board game, and hold on to the peace that comes with Emmanuel, God with Us. What if for just a few more days we held fast to the prophecy of Isaiah: 

The people walking in darkness

have seen a great light;

a light has dawned

on those living in the land of darkness.

You have enlarged the nation

and increased its joy.

The people have rejoiced before you

as they rejoice at harvest time

and as they rejoice when dividing spoils.

For you have shattered their oppressive yoke

and the rod on their shoulders,

the staff of their oppressor,

just as you did on the day of Midian.

For every trampling boot of battle

and the bloodied garments of war

will be burned as fuel for the fire.

For a child will be born for us,

a son will be given to us,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

He will be named

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.

The dominion will be vast,

and its prosperity will never end.

He will reign on the throne of David

and over his kingdom,

to establish and sustain it

with justice and righteousness from now on and forever.

The zeal of the Lord of Armies will accomplish this.

Isaiah 9:2-7

If you’ve already reset your home for the upcoming New Year and all that we’re hoping will be different, it’s ok. But is there just one candle you could keep lit? Is there a set of twinkle lights you could drape on a mantel? Could the nativity scene sit out for just a few days more or maybe even permanently?

We are so quick to extinguish the lights of Christmas, but Jesus is the one light that cannot be extinguished. He is the light that drives out darkness. He is the light that brings hope and healing. Will you join me and my family as we celebrate Christmastide and continue to marvel in and share the good news of a King who came for you and me? What will Christmastide look like in your home?

A Living Letter

Susan Carey

Little Eyes Alert: Unless you want me to spoil your child’s notion of classic Christmas characters, this is for grown-up eyes only.

Now that we have the bases covered, let’s talk about letters. Christmas is an important time for letters: Christmas letters or cards to family and friends (but don’t wait around for mine…they’re not coming this year), letters written to Santa and left beside a plate of cookies and milk, and in our house even letters to Zoe the Elf on the Shelf, written on the bathroom mirror in dry-erase marker. And in the magic of the Christmas spirit, Santa and Zoe always wrote back.

It was fun for me and magical for my kids, adding to the wide-eyed wonder of the season and the belief in someone we cannot actually see, yet apparently sees us every moment of every day. It’s easy for our kids to believe and and even trust in Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf when we, as parents, coordinate the correspondence. Let’s face it…my kids now know that I am Santa Claus and I am Zoe. And one day, if not already, your kids will know the truth as well. It’s easy for us to create the magic of Christmas, but how do we contribute to our kids’ belief and trust in the One they cannot see but who really does see them every moment of every day?

This past Sunday, Pastor Paul shared the message “Jesus’ Coming and God’s Letters to His People.” Most importantly, Pastor Paul shared that God sent Jesus as his personal letter to the world. But he also shared that we, too, can become a letter of God as we share the hope, joy, love and peace of God with others. As parents, the first recipients of that should be our children, but in my experience, it often feels easier to play the role of Santa Claus than to be a messenger of God. What if I get it wrong? What if I don’t know the words to say? My response: don’t overthink it. Just do it.

The beautiful thing about Jesus, what made his message so effective, was not actually in his words but in his life. Sure, Jesus spoke the words. He said such words as “Give to the one who asks you, and don’t turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:42)  and then HE DID IT time and again as people came to him pleading for healing.  He said such words as “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44) and then HE DID IT as he called to God from the cross asking forgiveness for those who crucified him. And he said such words as “It is not those who are well who need a doctor but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew 9:12-13) and then HE DID IT as he invited himself to dine with those others hated and he reached out to touch those whom no one else would touch.

Even if we didn’t have the words of Jesus but only the example of how he lived his life, we would still see the values of God lived out in the flesh. You, too, are the example of God’s values for your children; no words are necessary. I encourage you today to ask yourself the same questions I ask myself:

  • How does my life demonstrate hope in Jesus to my children? How do they see me respond in my own times of frustration or depression?  How do they see me sharing that with others?
  • How does my life demonstrate joy available only through Jesus to my children? Not happiness, mind you, but the pure joy of knowing who I am and whose I am. How do they see me responding in joy even when we can’t gather in person for Christmas Eve service?
  • How does my life demonstrate the love of God given to us through his son Jesus? How do I love my children in a way that is the overflow of God’s love for me? How do they see me show love even in moments of disappointment?
  • How does my life demonstrate the peace in difficult times that comes only from a relationship with God through his son Jesus? How do they see me respond to instances of injustice?
  • How does my relationship with my kids AND my relationships with others model Jesus’ mission  to love the unlovable and to touch the untouchable? How do they see me respond to the homeless beggar on the corner or the addict who relapsed again?

Our kids watch us, they read our every action and, yes, they hear our words, too. May we live with the intention of being God’s love letter to our children, creating an atmosphere in our homes of all that Jesus was born to bring – hope,  joy, love, and peace – both in our own lives and the lives of others.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Have you ever considered yourself a ‘letter from God’ to your kids? What do you find most challenging about that?

The Pressure of Parenting

Susan Carey

I’ve been thinking about the notion of ‘home’ a lot this week, especially after listening to Pastor Paul’s Sunday message. Although Pastor Paul talked about the home that Jesus makes in each of us when we choose to love him as Lord and Saviour, as a mom I’ve been thinking about what kind of home Jesus grew up in. I know the pressure I feel to provide a healthy environment for my own kids, and I wonder, “Did Mary feel that pressure, too?” I’m sure my kids will change the world in their own way, but Jesus is next level.

One of the things that makes God’s selection of Mary so remarkable is the fact that she was average, and in fact poor. Jesus would not be raised in a home of extravagance but rather a home of basic provision. If you want proof, look to Luke 2:22-24: “And when the days of their purification according to the law of Moses were finished, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (just as it is written in the law of the Lord, Every firstborn male will be dedicated to the Lord) and to offer a sacrifice (according to what is stated in the law of the Lord, a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons).” The significance is in what was offered because Mary and Joseph followed the law outlined in Leviticus. Purification after childbirth required women to offer a sheep for sacrifice, “But if she doesn’t have sufficient means for a sheep, she may take two turtledoves or two young pigeons, one for a burnt offering and the other for a sin offering.” (Leviticus 12:8). The offering of turtledoves and pigeons reflects Mary and Joseph’s poverty.

So if Mary and Joseph couldn’t offer the King of Kings material comforts and a life of ease, what could they offer him to make them worthy of being chosen by God? I think only two qualifications were necessary: love and obedience. Mary’s love for Jesus is evident even before he is born as she runs to visit her cousin Elizabeth sharing the unlikely but good news of her pregnancy, and even more so when the shepherds visit in Luke 2 and “after seeing them, they reported the message they were told about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.” I see that Jesus was raised in a home of deep love when his parents search frantically for him in Jerusalem after he camps out at the temple, in Mary’s willingness to release him to live out the ministry and purpose for which he was created, and ultimately as she knelt at the base of the cross where he hang crucified. God knew that Mary would cherish Jesus from beginning to end.

Mary’s obedience to God is evident from our first encounter with her in Luke 2 as she responds to the angel Gabriel: “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be done to me according to your word.” Eight days after Jesus’ birth, Mary and Joseph travel to Jerusalem for the circumcision and presentation of Jesus, and each year following they take their son to the Passover Festival. Jesus is raised in an orthodox home according to Jewish law and in obedience to God.

It didn’t matter to God that Mary and Joseph were poor, for what they lacked in material possessions was outweighed by but what they possessed in their hearts. And that’s all God needed from them; that’s all Jesus needed from them. And that’s all he needs from us as well.  I find this to be both an encouragement and a conviction when I consider the home where I am raising my children. I ask myself where do I place my priorities? Where do I expend my energy in creating a home for my girls? How do I demonstrate my love for them? How do I show them what it means to be a faithful Christian and obedient to God? Am I releasing them into God’s hands and trusting in his plan for them? Am I cooperating with the work of God to prepare them for their own ministry in this world? 

There was a time in my life when I thought providing for my kids meant more things, more opportunities, more comfort, more ease. There is nothing wrong with wanting good things for our kids, but we must remember that there is nothing better for our kids than a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and empowered by the Holy Spirit. We create the best environment for that when we surround our children with love and models of faithful obedience.  My prayer today is that my own heart would be that of Mary, full of love and obedience and willing to live out both.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. What makes ‘home’ a safe place for our children’s spiritual growth?

Setting the Stage for At-Home Worship

Susan Carey

For the last nine months, online worship has become the norm. While some of us enjoyed a few weeks of worship in the church building during Fall, it appears that online worship is not going anywhere. How has that experience been for you? I’ll go first — online, at-home worship in the Carey house looks like piling on the sectional still likely in pajamas, wrestling with the dogs, cursing under our breaths when the internet connection fails, awkwardly glancing around during the praise music to see if anyone else is moving their mouths — in a nutshell it doesn’t really feel like worship at all. Am I the only one?

Thankfully scripture tells me that even though Sunday mornings don’t feel especially worshipful, God is still very present. Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:20 reassure me: “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” I am confident that God does not judge our bed-head, our pajamas, our unruly dogs…he rejoices that we’ve shown up. However, I recognize that our Sunday morning worship at home does not communicate to God just how much we love and respect him. If you feel that way, too, let me share a few thoughts on how we can better set the stage for at-home worship. 

  • Prepare the Place — When we gather in church, our attention is drawn to the altar. We light candles to indicate the presence of God; we dim the overhead lights to create a close, cozy atmosphere and lessen distractions; we select music to set the mood of worship. What can you do in your own home to create such an atmosphere? Can you light a candle? Can you set up a Spotify playlist to play prior to service? Can you dim the lights?
  • Prepare Your Heart — Attitude is everything and one of the biggest challenges I face with at-home, online worship. What if we invited God into our hearts before the service? That Spotify playlist can be really helpful here; what if you only listened to worship music for 30 minutes before service? What if you prayed the words of Psalm 5:7-8 just before service: “But I, by your great mercy, will come into your house; in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple. Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies — make straight your way before me.” And then trust with hopeful expectation that God will in fact move in your heart during worship.
  • Prepare Your Body — In my high school teaching days, I always knew when kids were disengaged by their body posture. A slumping teen is a good indication of a disengeged teen, and that’s true for adults as well. Comfort is certainly ok; that’s one of the advantages of worshipping at home. But what does your body posture say about the preparedness of your heart and mind to receive the word of God? Do you need to have your feet on the floor instead of foot-wrestling with your 10-year-old? Do you need to put on real clothes….not necessarily church clothes but at least something you wouldn’t mind having on if an unexpected guest showed up?
  • Participate — I once read that when it comes to worship, God is the audience and the congregation are the actors. We are meant to sing, to pray out loud, to engage in the word. Psalm 40:3 reminds me, “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.” If I’m not willing to sing, how will others see and fear and put their trust in the Lord? And as a parent, I own that it’s my responsibility to show my kids what worship looks like. If I don’t participate, how do I expect them to learn how to worship? Another difficult challenge of this time is feeling disconnected from the church and its members. The beauty of online worship is the ability to comment during the service…you’re actually encouraged to talk with your friends! So take advantage of the comments section and engage with the message.
  • Take Notes — I like to think that I can remember everything I hear in a Sunday sermon, but let’s be honest….most of what I hear is meaningful in the moment and then forgotten as soon as I leave the church or turn off the online stream. And the truth is that I am incredibly distracted during at-home worship, noticing every speck of dust and hearing every random creak in the house. One way to combat that is to take notes during the message. Not only will that help me stay focused but it will also allow me to revisit the message throughout the week and to continue reflecting and learning. And this is something the entire family can do from the youngest to the oldest. Your pre-schooler’s notes may be drawings of words that stand out to them while your elementary schooler copies the scripture to memorize. It’s not about what it looks like; it’s simply about the intention to be present and to hear from God.  To help you out, I’ve included a couple of notes pages to guide you. Give it a try!
Sermon-NotesDownload
Kids-Sermon-NotesDownload

I miss gathering for worship, but I know that this season is simply that — a season. One day we will gather together for worship again. We’ll greet one another with handshakes and hugs, we’ll stand and sing together without worrying that we’re off-pitch (we all sound good in the universal choir), and we’ll linger in the lobby over coffee and donuts. But in the meantime, we can embrace this season of at-home worship knowing that God is present at all times in all places. We simply need to make the space in our homes and our hearts to welcome him.

I’d love to hear your feedback. What is working for you as you attempt to make at-home worship meaningful? What are you willing to try next Sunday?

Join Our Private Facebook Group!

Susan Carey

Because we know how isolating the last few months have been, we’ve created the “Don’t Miss It Devotions” Facebook group. Join other parents who are committed to raising kids of all ages with a faith focus, accepting the challenge to be the primary disciplers of their children.

Some days we post simply fun content to build community; other days we post family devotions and activities. Above all, “Don’t Miss It Devotions” is a safe place to share this journey with other parents and ministry leaders.

Click here to join!

Family Devotion

Susan Carey

Family Devotion with Susan CareyAs I sit down to write this, it is November 25th, the day before Thanksgiving 2020. My oldest child is finally released from a close-contact quarantine and eager to leave the house. My youngest is eager to make her famous chocolate cake for tomorrow’s community Thanksgiving meal. It will be a fun day of togetherness and delicious smells from the kitchen but it’s nothing like past Thanksgivings when extended family crowded into the kitchen, turkey smoked on the Big Green Egg, and we never considered wearing masks for the quick trip to the IGA to pick up last-minute ingredients.

And because it’s different this year, we can fall into the trap of thinking that this year shouldn’t count, that it will be inferior, that we need to just get through it and look forward to next year. Or we may overcompensate and try to fit in all the things, overloading our family schedules and overwhelming our kids in the name of making it the best holiday season ever! May I suggest an alternative?

What if we recognize this year, this upcoming holiday season, as an opportunity to be embraced. You’re likely familiar with the words of Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, and time to plant and a time to uproot.” Maybe this is a year to examine past expectations and plant new traditions. Maybe this is a year to really examine what matters most in the holiday season and uproot those activities or expectations that no longer serve. I recently challenged the families in our “Don’t Miss It” facebook group to sit down with their kids and make a list of this year’s non-negotiable holiday activities. What
has to be done to make the most of this season and what can be eliminated? What foods will make this season special? What activities will allow you to be present in the memory-making? What traditions will retain the feeling from holidays past? And what can be let go?

I encourage you to do the same. What if we let this year be one not of lament but instead one of hope and intention? What if we’re able to look back on the holiday season 2020 as the one when we reexamined our priorities, renewed our commitment to being present with our kids, and saw God’s blessing in it all? God is good…all the time!

Susan Carey
Director of Family Ministry